Life and Death
“Burke, you gotta come get me,” Hoss called me at least twice a month to rescue him. It was always keys locked in his car, an ex-wife ready to kill him or a jealous husband.
“I forgot my wallet and these guys are threatening to kill me. It’s a matter of life and death.”
It’s […]

None of us knew about the sale until we saw Waylon’s chubby face on TV
“Come on down, to the twenty-four hour moooonlight madness sale.” he howled the word ‘moonlight’ like a redneck wolf. “That’s right, we’ll be here all night, twenty-four solid hours until the last customer’s served.”
The car business is rampant with […]

Going off track for a minute here. A few years ago I was driving down a street in my neighborhood when a car stopped a few hundred yards in front of me. The passenger door opened briefly and the car sped off. By the side of the road was a small white object. It emitted […]

Everyone called him Morris so I assumed that was his name.
Morris was a smarmy little fop with manicured fingernails and tight pants. Everything about him was repugnant, from his cologne to his wide endomorph ass. He didn’t seem to mind that everyone hated him. In fact, he thrived in his disgraced status, like a […]

I’m prone to eavesdrop on other salespeople. You can pick up a lot of interesting bits and pieces from some of these guys. We have any type you can imagine and some that defy category. The dealership hired one extreme character a few days ago. His name is Chaz and he lives on the edge […]