There was a strip club located about two miles from the Ford store. We were practically neighbors, so there was some mutual exchange of trade going on between the salesmen and the ladies at the “Gentlemen’s Club”. Some salesmen spent most of their off time conducting research of the female anatomy. A big buffoon named […]

A customer came in yesterday. Nice enough guy. Quiet. He spoke no more than necessary. But something happened that gave me the uber willies. I noticed he had five little warts on his right arm. Something was peculiar about their placement. They were arranged in a semi-circle.
I spent most of the morning with him […]

Nothing much has happened at the lot this last week. Salespeople are settling in for the long winter hibernation. Inventory is piling up as the public ignores all the shiny new models. I took two weeks off writing to recharge the creative battery.
But now I’m back dammit. And for the first order of business […]

There was no blog yesterday. I’ve been suffering from narcolepsy, or some other ailment that makes me sleep eleven hours back to back, punctuated only by the rustlings of my fifty year old bladder.
Enough medical talk.
The Moonie girls have resurfaced. Our little car lot is on the border of metropolitan Knoxville. There’s a […]

A number of industries have sprouted to accommodate the schedules of salespeople at car lots. We’re stuck there for ten to fifteen hours a day giving rise to all manner of enterprising souls. They’ve rushed in to fill the needs of the many indentured automotive sales professionals.
There are mobile barbers, tailors, shoe salesmen, fruit vendors, […]

Yesterday the temperature hit one hundred. Nobody was stupid enough to come out and stand on the semi-liquid asphalt. Jerking around a car salesman is not worth dying for. We were bored and cranky. We snapped at each other like feral Chihuahuas I had to do something to break the bad mojo, so […]

Two crooked little chowder heads named Clovis and Ernesto worked at the Dodge store for a few weeks. They were inseparable. No one else would spend time with them so they had to buddy up. Combine slicked back hair-dos and pencil thin mustaches with chalky skin and tight purple wardrobes and they looked like […]

Not long ago I worked at a Dodge dealership. We used to sit for hours watching traffic go by. If you sit in one spot long enough something interesting will happen. That morning a police car was stopped at a red light. The back door popped open and a chubby little woman fell out. She […]

Television is a car salesman’s best friend during the long empty hours. Some guys catch up on their stories like: General Hospital, All My Children, As The World Turns. Others watch Judge shows where plaintiffs and defendants argue over pee-stained carpets and windshields broken by drunken lovers.
A few weeks ago, on a […]

None of us knew about the sale until we saw Waylon’s chubby face on TV
“Come on down, to the twenty-four hour moooonlight madness sale.” he howled the word ‘moonlight’ like a redneck wolf. “That’s right, we’ll be here all night, twenty-four solid hours until the last customer’s served.”
The car business is rampant with […]